Last night I tried out a new yoga class which I had just heard about. Incidentally it is taught by our wonderful town councilor, Sue Jones-Davies, who is famous for having played Judith in The Life of Brian. She is a truly inspiring woman in her own very humble way. What I think I like most about her is her openness, her general willingness to share herself with others, her whole self, knowing that it doesn't matter what people think, that's their problem, she is who she is. In this way she reminds me of my mother, who also has lived her life always making her own decisions and standing her own ground. When absolutely everyone told my mother that moving to Iran was madness, she just went ahead and did it anyway because she had decided it was the right thing to do at the time. She doesn't falter. Sometimes I feel like I am her complete opposite, it takes very little to utterly shatter my confidence and I spend a lot of time dwelling on my own perception of my own shortcomings. Which brings me to the point of this post if you like, something that Sue shared with us in the yoga class and something which I thought I would share here too. She read this quote by Martha Graham, a dancer, and I think everyone in the room (all women) had something of an 'aha' moment hearing it. As we sat in our padma-asanas, we let the words soak into us, and I'm sure I wasn't the only one in the room thinking 'yes. yes. yes.'
“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.” Martha Graham (emphasis added)
I think this is such a good message, probably for everyone, but especially for people like me who have this tendency of constantly self-criticizing, particularly the things I produce. I like it because it's not about reassuring yourself that you are in fact good or better or whatever, instead it's just about removing that comparison, ignoring it, not thinking about it at all, and that is what I need to do.
